1. 2 years ago 

    pepper spray your face

    i thought pepper spray was for victims… not criminals…

    *opening theme* heey! WAAZZUUP!

    a man robbed a store by gunpoint and got the cash, and then pulled out a gun of pepper spray so that he could spray the clerk… but instead of spraying the clerk… he sprayed himself in the eyes! and then he sprayed the clerk and run away, and he hasn’t been seen since.

    so this guy went into the store, robbed it successfully and figured…… hey i wanna take it to the next level and spray this guy in the face with pepper spray, EVENTHOUGH I DIDN’T LEARN HOW TO AIM PEPPER SPRAY!

    why didn’t he just rob the store, get the money and then just leave! it would’ve been funny though if you ran in and then spray the clerk with pepper spray first before he got the money, it would’ve been just like…..

    “ALRIGHT! THIS IS ROBBERY! *sprays* GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY!”

    “OOOOHHHHH FUUUCK!! THAT BUUUURNS!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO GET THE MONEY?!!……… I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO I’M TALKING TO RIGHT NOW!! ARE YOU ROBBING MEE?! YOU JUST PEPPERED SPRAY ME IN THE EYES!! HOW COULD I GET THE MONEY FOR YOU IF I CAN’T SEEE?!”

    “i… i mean… ge me… g… get me the… I’LL BE BACK LATER!”

    so even thought this guy peppered spray himself in the face, i can’t say he’s an idiot! cause…… WELL HE IS! BUT…..  he still got away with his robbery! so he gotta have some sort of smart… the police are still looking for him. you know they should’ve just ran down the street and look right away, it’s kind of hard to hide yourself when you just got pepper sprayed in the eyes, you just have to look for the half blind guy WITH A LOT OF CASH! 

    you know what? this pepper spray must not be not great because he sprayed himself in the eyes and he could still see good enough to spray the clerk in the eye! SO REALLY THIS IS FAILED PEPPER SPRAY! so you’re telling me that if i carried pepper spray in my pocket and some guy comes up with a gun, and he starts threatening me, and i spray him in the eyes with it, he’s just gonna squint for a while and shoot me anyway?

    so for everyone carrying a pepper spray around right now, maybe you should rethink that and just get yourself a teaser!

    this reminded me of that scene in ace ventura pet detective, you know when he tries to spray the breath freshener in his mouth? and he was just like…..

    *sprays* ffffffppppppptttttttt! UUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH! ex….. ce…. pt he miss… es… his mouth an……d HE’S…… NOT USING COLOGNE! *cough* (i can’t believe i did this)”

    XD 

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fluffee is an awesome guy with a lot of insane stories to tell! there you go! the line says it all! FUCK YEAH FLUFFEE! WOOHOO!
 
 

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